Call Any Vegetable Lyrics

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Call any vegetable
   Call it by name
   You've gotta call one today
   When you get off the train
   Call any vegetable
   And the chances are good
   The vegetable will respond to you
   La La La La
   The vegetable will respond to you
   La La La La

   Call any vegetable
   Pick up your phone
   Think of a vegetable
   Lonely at home
   Call any vegetable
   And the chances are good
   The vegetable will respond to you
   La La La La
   The vegetable will respond to you
   La La La La
   Rutabaga, Rutabaga, Rutabaga, Rutabaga, Rutaba...

   No one will know
   If you don't want to let them know
   No one will know
   'less it's you that might tell them so
   Call and they'll come to you
   Smiling and covered with dew
   Vegetable dream
   Vegetable dream
   Vegetable dream of responding to you
   Standing there shiny and proud by your side
   Holding your joint while the neighbors decide
   Why is a vegetable something to hide
   TO HIDE, TO HIDE, TO HIDE,...

   Shooo, Shooo, Shoo, Shoo ....
   You know a lot of people don't bother about there friends in the vegetable
   kingdom. They, they think: What can I say? Some times they think:
   Where can I go?
   Where can I go to get my poodle clipped in Burbank?
   At Ralph's vegetarian poodle clippin', where you can come this...
   Where can I go to get organic vaseline for my ????
   At Bob and Ray's swaheli restorant, where you can come this close.....
   Where can I go to get my jeans embroided at Fullurton?.....
   At jeans, at Jeans North where nothing fits
   Where can I go to get my zipper repaired in Hollywood?
   Who gives the fuck anyway
   Where can I go to get my speakers fixed?
   Where can I go to get my exit lights?,
   At Jack LaLane Hamburgers on 312 Woodier(?) Boulavard.
   Where can I go to get my stomach pumped?
   Where can I go to colapse
   Hey, De-due.


   Questions, Questions, Questions, flooding into the mind of the concerned
   young person today.  Ah, but it's a 	great time to be alive ladies and
   gentlemen.  And that's the theme of our program for tonight, "It's so
   FUCKING GREAT to be alive"!  Is what the theme of our show is tonight,
   boys and girls. And I'm wanna tell ya, if there is anybody here who
   DOESN'T believe that it is FUCKING GREAT to be alive, I wish that they go
   now, because this show will only bring them down so much... ]

   God Bless America
   Land that I love
   Call any vegetable
   Call it by name
   You've gotta call one today
   When you get off the train
   Call any vegetable
   And the chances are good
   Oh, that the vegetable will respond to you

   And if you are a consenting adult we want you to call today in Los Angeles,
   the number is Richmond9-6935 , in Downey it's 347-8932.

   Call it direct,
   Call it collect,
   But call it today.