Magdalena Lyrics

  ~~~~~~~~~

  There was a man
  A little ole man
  Who lived in Montreal
  With a wife and a kid
  And a car and a house
  And a teenage daughter
  With a see-thru blouse
  Who loved to grunt and ball - -
  And her name was Magdalena

  The little ole man
  Came home one night
  To his house in Montreal.
  He caught his daughter
  In the blouse by the light
  And he said to himself:
  "She looks all right!"
  And he reached for a tit
  And grabbed it tight
  And threw her up
  Against the wall
  (BLUE CROSS!)

  Magdalena, my daughter dear,
  Do not be concerned when your
  Canadian daddy comes near.
  My daughter dear
  Do not be concerned when your
  Canadian daddy comes near.
  I work so hard,
  Don't you understand,
  Making maple syrup
  For the pancakes of our land.
  Do you have any idea
  What that can do to a man
  What that can do to a man?
  Do you have any idea
  What that can do to a man
  What that can do to a man?

  The little ole man
  With the grubby little hand
  Who lived in Montreal
  Was drooling a bit
  As he reached for her tit
  And he said to himself:
  "This gonna be it!"
  But the girl turned around
  And said: "Go eat shit!"
  And ran on down the hall.
  Right on, Magdalena!

  My daughter dear,
  Do not be concerned when your
  Canadian daddy comes near.
  My daughter dear
  Do not be concerned when your
  Canadian daddy comes near.
  I work so hard,
  Don't you understand,
  Making maple syrup
  For the pancakes of our land.
  Do you have any idea?
  What that can do to a man
  What that can do to a man?
  Do you have any idea?
  What that can do to a man
  What that can do to a man?

  Magdalena, don't you tease me like this
  Right in the hallway with your blouse and your tits
  If your mommy ever finds us like this
  She'll call a lawyer, oh how mom will be pissed

  DOODLE  DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH
  DOODLE  DOODLE DOODLE DUH-DUH DEE-UH

  Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena, Magdalena,
  daughter of the smog-filled winds of Los Angeles,
  I'd like to take you in the closet
  and take off your little clothes
  until you're virtually stark raving nude,
  spread mayonaise and kaopectate all over your body
  and take you down to Hollywood Boulevard
  and we can, we can walk down the streets
  by the stars that say John Provost and Leo G. Carrol
  together, Baby.
  We can go dancing up at the Cina Grill ... can't you see it: Frank
  Pernell and us, until dark ... don't you understand, my Baby ...
  I didn't mean, I didn't need, I mean ... it was so hard for me ...
  I just ... I saw you standing under the Shell pest strip late last
  night, in the light, with your little nipples protruding through your
  little see-thru thingie...and I just said 'My god, my god, I gave
  my sperm to this thing'...and now I just,...oh you got me so hard,
  I just, I don't know what to do Magdalena, don't you understand?
  So I grabbed you - but, but don't hold it against me - I mean,
  your mom will never know, Baby ... and I wantcha to
  come back to me... I mean... do you understand me?... I want you to...
  I'm down on my knees to ya, Magdalena... I wantcha ta walk back to me,
  Baby... I wantcha to turn around by the Sparkletts machine... that's it!
  that's it!... in the little chartreuse hallway with the little neon
  Jesus picture on the wall... and I want you to step, Baby, I want you
  to walk back in your five inch spike heels that you got at Frederick's,
  same time you and your mommy got that crotchless underwear last year
  for the christmas... and I want you to stroll back to me, Baby...
  Walk back Baby, dontcha understand me Baby... I want you to walk back...
  I'm down on bended knees, Baby... I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I wanna take
  off your little trainig bra...Don't you understand me.
  I'm gonna take off you little maroon hot pants... I'm gonna get down on
  my knees, Baby... dontcha understand what I'm saying to you... your mom
  will never know... she's playing bridge with the girls... and you and I...
  you and I will... Baby, it's just you and I... dontcha understand... we can
  make love all night long... nobody will ever know... come on, Magdalena!
  ...please, little girl... walk back to your daddy... what did I do that
  was so wrong?...my god, I was only following the sexual impulse like
  I heard on the Johnny Carson Show...from a book or something I wrote,
  I didn't know what I was doing...I got carried away... walk back,
  oh please, to your daddy!... come on, Magdalena... to your daddy,
  Baby... your mom will never know... come back to you daddy!...